I've been in the same spot and it sucks. For me, it was like an out of body experience. I knew what I was doing, I knew what the consequences would be, yet I didn't have the drive/want/need (?) to stop it. I had a blood pressure scare, that's what did it for me. I'd never had any health issues even tho I was almost 300 lbs. Oh sure, I had aches and pains, got winded easily, etc...but the blood pressure really scared me. Please just know that even baby steps are a step in the right direction. You've got lots of people here pulling for you!
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Rckc