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24 Temmuz 2019
Day 2 musings...
I have not had a cigarette in 18 hours. I really do not want a cigarette; but my inner child is very petulant. My inner child is demanding I not listen to my logical brain and smoke one. I never smoke in my house or my vehicle so there are never any cravings inside of those two places. I wonder if it would be possible to just exist in either my house, or my car, for the next 3 days? Sigh. It is not possible. I had to banish my inner child to the time out chair in the form of Welbutrin. The medication has drastically reduced my nicotine cravings over the last 4 weeks. 18 hours ago I told myself I would not smoke anymore. Today, I will not smoke with me. This is for the best as I only have 2 more weeks of Welbutrin and I have been dragging my feet through this entire process. I know, I know, and I want to, I do; but at the same time, I want to be able to have all my vices.
Food wise, doing good. I did exactly what I said I wanted to do last night. I did not eat a bunch of crap. In fact, I am getting ready to log my intake from last night and this morning. One more day of eating Maruchan ramen then never, ever again will I consume that cardboard. We all make choices. I made a choice to go to Colorado for 2 weeks and hike EVERYWHERE. It was gorgeous. My butt hurt a lot. So, Maruchan ramen is my penance for 2 weeks of fun.
The best part of these journal entries is that I am giving my future self something to chuckle at.
(22 yorum)
23 Temmuz 2019
Day 1 musings...
I am so great at solving puzzles and problems; yet, I cannot focus on solving my own. I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in March 2018. I was really focused at first. I lost 50 lbs. and my numbers were good. Then, I fell off the wagon.
See, I have to lose weight. I have to overhaul my diet. I have to watch my cholesterol intake. I have to quit smoking. I have to become more active. All of these "have to" mandates have the rebel inside of me clawing at my skin to break out. I have always done what I wanted. Now, my body is betraying me. I have to do what my body wants...and I do not want to.
My hope is this will provide the catharsis necessary to actually listen to my body. If not, the recipes look promising...
(48 yorum)
23 Temmuz 2019
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