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24 Ağustos 2010

I could have died!

I had the most eventful morning. I started my day with my 15km morning run. 20 mins into my run, I fell and my ankle went 'CRACK'. I sat at the side of the road and started crying. I wasn't crying just because it was so f**king painful and I could see the veins popping from my calves to my ankles, BUT I was crying mostly because I was afraid I couldnt run for a week or so. I started praying in tongues for a good 20mins. It was 615 in the morning and there wasn't anyone around to help me. But who needs help when I had God. I stood up, wipe my tears and tried to walk for a bit. I thought to myself, "Should I just go home now? But what the hell, I really wanna run." SO i took the step of faith. And many steps of faith followed. I made it even though I was limping throughout my run. I completed my 15km route! Strange enough, the pain was bearable and I didn't think much of it.

However, everytime I slow down or stop at a traffic light, I could feel the pain acting up again. So I tried to beat all the traffic lights to prevent myself from stopping. And this SAVED MY LIFE. I was at the traffic light of Le Meridien, a shopping mall in town, crossing over to the Istana (where the President's office is, it's like the white house of Singapore). As I didnt want to stop, I just continued to run even though I was suppose to wait for the lights to turn green. And GUESS WHAT?? 2 seconds after I stepped off the pavement, a MPV crashed with a taxi and the MPV charged right up the pavement where I was suppose to be waiting. F**K! Can u believe it? Everyone was screaming because I could have been smashed. The green barriers came flying off as the mpv crashed and the barriers hit other cars. I was that CLOSE to becoming pancake or worst. I was in shock and some tourist who witnessed the accident (they were the screamers) asked me if I was ok. I nodded, still in shock and continued to run. Tears started pouring down my cheeks as I ran. I'm still recovering from the shock. If I didn't jay walk or jay run, I would have been hit by the car just by standing at the pavement. God is so good.

BTW, my ankle is swollen like a pig's now. In a lot of pain. Looks like I won't be able to run for a while. SADNESS. I hope I don't get depressed. I'm really damn upset about it.

What a day. I'm still in a shock. Happy that I didn't get knocked down but super super upset about my ankle.

(4 yorum)

21 Ağustos 2010

Kilo:	Bugüne kadar kayıp:	Geriye kalan:	Diyet Takibi:
51,5 kg	2,5 kg	1,5 kg	Oldukça İyi

Yorum Ekle Haftada 0,2 kg alıyor

20 Ağustos 2010

i'm hitting the sack. Super sleepy. But excited about my run for tmr. Gonna run at 6am and hit the gym for weights in the afternoon with the bf.

I really wanna exceed my limit but I don't know if i'm fully recovered for tmr.. I've covered 60km on running for this week and 15km for hiking.. hope I feel good tmr. Will be so disappointed if I cant perform.

Goodnight beautiful people!

xoxo

Yorum Ekle

20 Ağustos 2010

After a long conversation and debates being thrown across the room.. Topic being 'melissa's diet'.. my Bf and his team of trainers Vs Me... (well obviously i lost the 'argument').. I have decided that 'hey, they are right! I should give me body a break once a week and cheat'.

I used to be a personal trainer at california fitness and I should know better. But I guess i'm just a stubborn pig when it comes down to dieting. I'm just so scared that i'll put on weight. My body is the type where by I just need to look at a muffin and POOF! my ass grows bigger.. I gain weight so easily and take so much effort to lose it. I don't know if many people share the same problem as me.. :(

My cheat day is usually sunday and I cheat with chicken breast subway. Lame I know, cos that is not even a real cheat. This time I'm REALLY going to give myself a treat. But it starts next week. I need time to prepare myself mentally for it. I'm kinda scared actually..

I had so much to eat since I got up this morning. I can feel my muscles screaming out at me to feed them. One of the trainers who is a runner like me (ok he does triathlons too which is cooler than my silly running) told me that it's best that I carb-load once a week. Say eat slightly more COMPLEX carbs than usual. He told me my body will thank me for it especially when I'm running 15 to 16km almost everyday.. Well, I ate so much carbs since I got up.. Only because I felt like I was starving!! I don't know why. Right now I just feel full and satisfied. Guilty as well. *burp* :(

(2 yorum)

19 Ağustos 2010

I'm so upset. I'm at my boyfriend's gym now. He's a personal trainer btw. He's training and I'm chatting with his colleagues as I type this. I'm complaining that my weight isn't dropping and I really really wanna weigh 48kg. I know that weight is just numbers. But it'll be nice to be able to say 'hey I weigh 48'.

The trainers said that they don't think it's realistic for me to want to be so light unless I wanna lose my muscles. The nicest thing was they complimented me on how ribbed my abs look now. The shitty thing is when I look in the mirror sometimes, I see the fat kid that I was looking back at me.

The feeling sucks. Compliments only last for that moment. And then I'm back to feeling fat again. It's so stupid. Yesterday I had the urge to binge and purge my food. But I didn't. I don't want to give in to my old bulimic ways. I went out and smoked like mad instead, which isn't something to be proud of as well. I want to quit smoking. I know that I'll be a better runner if I did.

Gosh. I'm the most imperfect person I know. :( yucks. I hate myself when i feel like this.

(2 yorum)

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