So tomorrow is my one month being with fatsecret and using the calorie counter app. I honestly think it saved my life. I know that's a little dramatic, but it's really true. I was doing low carb before I found the app but I wasn't writing down what I was eating nor was I counting cals, so I never really knew how many carbs or cals I was consumming each day. The day I found the app i was just messing around with my phone and saw that it was in my apps and I opened it. For some reason it 'clicked'. I had the sparkpeople app and had looked at it before and even joined sparkpeople but it never 'stuck'. Fatsecret did. Since that day, I have completely lost all sugar cravings, my migraines have relented tremendously, ( I used to get them almost every day) I don't feel like I'm in a 'fog' anymore. My thinking is so much clearer and I WANT to do things. It truly is an incredible feeling. I'm in control of what I eat, and saying 'no' to things is not even an after thought most times. I would say one of my biggest 'no moments' was last weekend when my partner and i went out for breakfast. She got pancakes with her breakfast and they looked so freakin good. and they smelled like OMG good. I really wanted a bite. I thought, maybe if I just have ONE bite it will be ok. But then I thought, NO. If I have one bite it will lead to me eating half of the plate and i didn't want that. I also thought about all the sugar going into my body. Did i really want all of that poison in me? ( i call sugar posion as it really is to me and my body) So I said no and put the waters in front of the plate so I really couldn't see them. Silly I know, but it my mind it worked. So I'm proud of that. I have also not had ANY chocolate candy in one month. That is pretty huge as well. Especially since there is alot of it in our house. I won't throw it away though. It's a daily reminder that I CAN do this and I AM doing this.
My weight loss has also been incredible. I'm a tiny bit worried I may be losing weight to fast, BUT I'm going to up my cals next week a bit. I'm having a hard time doing that. Or I guess I should say overcoming the mental obstacle i have about 'eating more'. I'm trying to get in more veggies as well. I had green beans last night which were good. I'm going to keep trying with that.
Back to how fatsecret saved my life. I think if i would of kept down the same path I was going before I started any of this...i would of ended up in the hospital. Or mental ward. I was close to 400 freakin lbs. That is really big. I was so terribly unhealthy. I still am, but at least NOW I can say I'm working on changing. I couldn't say that then.
I still have many obstacles to overcome, but I'm trying every day. Lots of the obstacles I have, i've had since I was a little girl. My veggie hatred is an exact result of that. So is my love of sweets. So is my hatred for my body. LOL. Ok, I guess most of them. I know I can't blame my childhood for every bad habit I have. It's ME that is ultimately doing the damage. It may have originated from my childhood, but I'm the one that keeps hurting myself. I may need help with all of that. Only time will tell. For right now, I'm REALLY trying to NOT beat myself up or call myself names. I think right now, that is my biggest struggle. My partner doesn't let me do it out loud anymore. I never really knew how much I did it until she started calling me on it. I used to think it was funny, all the things I would say about me. I needed to make stuff funny so I would laugh and not cry. She isn't having it anymore. She tells me every day I'm beautiful. Someday i will believe that. Something else I prob need help with. I'm trying though.
I'm proud of myself. I'm proud I have stuck with this and have made this a way of life for me. I'm proud I have lost weight. I'm proud I can so 'no'. I'm proud I'm going through with school (finally). I'm proud I WANT to go outside of my house. Hopefully soon I can add more 'proud' moments.
If you took the time to read this, thank you. I know I ramble and I'm a terrible speller. =)
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1375 kcal
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Yağ: 54,20g | Prot: 151,28g | Karb: 54,63g.
Kahvaltı: White Turkey & Gravy in roasting pan. Öğle Yemeği: IMPRL DELIGHT QTRS, Chicken Breast (Skin Not Eaten). Akşam Yemeği: Large Grade A Eggs (Hard Boiled), Iceberg Lettuce (Includes Crisphead Types), Light Ranch Dressing, Turkey Breast Meat. Aperatifler/Diğer: Original Whipped Light Cream, Sugar Free Chocolate Vanilla Swirl Pudding Snack, Day Break Apple Crisp Bar. devamı için...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Yorumlar
I'm SO happy for you. It is a long battle, but it is ours. I can relate to the pancake story. If we give in to certain foods and our mindset isn't in the right place, we will use it as a crutch to continue on the destructive path. I have been doing that for over a month now. It's high time I get off my pity party and get back on my journey. I have a hard time forgiving myself if I "cheat" per se. One bite won't hurt, heck, one splurge meal won't hurt, but it does do something to my mental state. I guess that is part of an addiction.
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: kcook323
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I totally agree with you on the 'mental state' thing. I have found that if i do have a splurge, which I do have on the weekends, i make sure the splurge is worth it. I think if you do that, you don't beat yourself up as much. At least I don't. I had frozen custard last weekend, and I was fully aware I was allowing myself to have it. And let me tell you...it was freakin good. And after I ate it, I moved on. You need to allow yourself SOME treats I think. Or you will most likely always fall off the wagon. I have made low carb my lifestyle. But in order for ME to succeed, I have treats on the weekend. I won't allow myself to go overboard and i will make sure it's worth it. The pancakes were NOT worth it. But the frozen custard was. I guess it might not make sense, but to me it does. Maybe I'm wrong in thinking that, but that is what works for ME. You will find your balance. I have a total sugar addiction, so I know I can't allow myself to have it. and when i do have it, i make sure I'm in complete control. Like Iknow when I'm sad or upset...i can't have it. It will be a total downward spiral. BUT, if I'm ok 'mentally' or none of my triggers are happening the moment I want 'it'.....i know I can have it and I will be ok. I hope that makes sense. =) Thank you for your post. I always feel so thankful for the people who take the time to read my stuff. You can totally get back on your journey. You are worth it. Forgive yourself and get back on the wagon. =)
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: HerStrawberri
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I must say I got the biggest smile reading this entry! I love how positive you're sounding! You're right, you can't blame your past for the decisions that YOU make today but when you've lived your life a certain way for so long, it is very difficult to change how you act, think, process emotions, etc... The fact that you acknowledge this and trying and not quitting, I feel, is half the battle. Your past does NOT define you, your present does. I truly believe people can change if they really want to and I know I have my faults and my demons that I struggle with. And I'm so, so, so impressed with the no chocolate. LOL I have an addiction to dark chocolate. And the past few days, evil PMS has made me feel like I'm starving!! And don't feel like you ramble or you're being overly dramatic hehe ;) If those of us who read it and commented thought you rambled, we wouldn't read it...simple :) You are doing such a great job and it will be a very long road but don't focus on that...focus on how far you've come. Weight loss, emotional healing and life is not about the destination as much as it is the journey...its never ending and always changing. Sounds like you have a great partner standing by you and I think its fantastic that she isn't allowing you to bad mouth yourself. I hope you have a fantastic weekend and you should be so proud of everything you've done in just a month's time!! **CHEERS**
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: NoChubbyMom
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This is THE best entry I've read in a long time. I can see that there has been so much personal growth happening for you since you started here & THAT is what is going to make you successful! I really want to go on & on but I just got to work so it will have to wait. But I just had to tell you how wonderful it made me feel to read this. Warmed my heart. :D So happy for you darling.
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: kstubblefield
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Thank you both so much! It feels so good to hear ( or read ) that. I haven't had alot of encouragement in my life so when I get it, it really fills my heart. =) I'm getting all emotional so I'm gonna stop...but THANK YOU!!!
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: HerStrawberri
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awww! May sound a little weird but I just wanna hug you haha I think b/c you come across a lot like some close family members of mine. Ya'know its funny...the more ya try and see & bring out the best in others, the more you bring out the best in yourself. :)
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: NoChubbyMom
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How wonderful to write such an amazing end of the month journal...What a great idea!!!!! Remember "bigger" people will loose more fat at the start. We burn more calories then smaller people do, that may be the reason for your losses, and do not worry if it slows down!!!!!! In such a short time you have come so far! I cannot wait to see you end of the month journal next month. You are loosing all the bad things (including the weight) and gaining so many more good things :) I am so happy and so proud of you!
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: Jennifer2010
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I would have to say Nochubbymom, your family members are lucky to have you! Just as I am lucky to have you as one of my buddies so thank you! and Thank you jennifer! I was thinking the same thing you were about 'bigger' people losing weight. I'm sure it will slow down, especially when i really start exercising on the regular. But that's ok. Muscle is way better looking then gross flabby flab. Thank you for the great response.
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: HerStrawberri
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Strwberri, I am so PROUD of you !!!! I read every word of your entry and no worries about the rambling...this is YOUR journal honey and you need to write whatever you need to do help you succeed. Remember I told you in my PM that the journal is for you to reflect back on...this will be a great entry for you to go back to time and time again. So happy things have started to click for you...yes, this will take time. You are definately going in the right direction and you have great support from your partner.
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: HealthyBabs
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Another girl here that Is super proud of you!!! Little steps everyday... little choices everyday .. lead to big changes over time. It's not easy.. but we can do it!! Hugs to you and your super smart partner for the new positive treatment of you and your body. Treat it kindly. It loves you and wants you to love it back.... with kind words... good food.. and healthy choices. :)
03 Haz 11 üye tarafından: radiochick
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Thank you Babs and Radio! I think the small victories are just as important as the big ones. It's what gets us through everday. For me at least. Thank you both again!
04 Haz 11 üye tarafından: HerStrawberri
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07 Haz 11 üye tarafından: Wicked Step Monster
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Thank you for sharing. You give me hope!
07 Haz 11 üye tarafından: Pam-a-lama
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